Unlearning: The Hardest Part of Growth
In a quiet countryside, there lived a small bird named Kiko.
From the day Kiko was born, he grew up inside a cage. The cage door was always kept closed, and Kiko spent his days hopping from one corner to another, flapping his wings in a limited space.
Over time, he stopped trying to fly far.
He learned to live within boundaries.
One day, his owner decided to set him free.
The cage door was opened.
For the first time in his life, Kiko had the whole sky in front of him.
But something strange happened.
He didn’t fly.
He stayed inside the cage.
He moved a little closer to the door, looked outside, flapped his wings… and then stepped back.
The sky was open.
Freedom was right there.
But Kiko had learned a pattern — this small space is my world.
Days passed. The door remained open.
One morning, after many small attempts, Kiko finally gathered courage.
He stepped out… flapped his wings… and flew.
Not because the sky changed.
But because he slowly unlearned the limits he had accepted as truth.
Why Unlearning Matters
Just like Kiko, many of us are living inside invisible cages.
Not real cages, but patterns, habits, and beliefs we have learned over time.
These patterns may come from:
- Childhood habits
- Past routines
- Situations we adapted to
Some of them were useful once.
But today, they may be silently consuming our time, energy, and growth.
And often, we don’t even realize it.
We think time is passing.
But in reality, life is passing — minute by minute.
Unlearning Is Also a Practice
The way we learn a new skill — like learning a musical instrument — we invest time every day.
We practice daily.
We stay consistent.
Similarly, if we want to unlearn something, we must also practice it daily.
Unlearning is not a one-time decision.
It is a conscious, repeated effort.
Every day, we gently tell ourselves:
"I choose differently today."
A Simple Example of Unlearning
Imagine someone who has a habit of checking their phone first thing in the morning.
This habit may have formed over years.
Now they decide to change it.
The first day, they fail.
The second day, they forget.
The third day, they remember but still pick up the phone.
But slowly, with awareness, they begin to pause.
One day, instead of picking the phone, they sit quietly for a few minutes.
Then they repeat it again the next day.
And slowly, a new pattern forms.
They didn’t just learn a new habit.
They unlearned an old one.
The Journey of Unlearning
Unlearning is not easy.
It requires awareness, patience, and honesty with ourselves.
There is a beautiful truth shared by Robin Sharma:
"Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end."
Unlearning follows the same path.
- It feels tough in the beginning
- It becomes messy in the middle
- But it turns beautiful in the end
Because on the other side of unlearning lies freedom.
A Gentle Reminder
Take a moment and reflect on your life.
Are there patterns that no longer serve you?
Are there habits that are quietly holding you back?
You don’t have to break everything at once.
Just start small.
Practice daily.
Be patient with yourself.
Because just like Kiko the bird, sometimes the door is already open.
We just need to unlearn the fear and patterns that keep us inside.
And once we do…
the sky has always been waiting for us.
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